Do you know how it feels to be “thissss” close to something that is like an unimaginable dream come true and yet have it all foiled. That’s how I feel, although my plans aren’t foiled as yet – there is this fatalistic feeling that the plan would certainly fall through. Plans for what I am sure would have been the trip of the year. The trip to Pilani.
It was a team party, a lazy afternoon with no hint of information which was to possess me for the next couple of months. My manager, an ex-Bitsian, tells me that this year we had decided to include BITS in the recruitment roster- and I was thrilled. And then he adds, ‘you should come along. We always take alumni with us when we go recruiting’. And I still remember that almost instantaneous spontaneous stupid smile that filled my face - the feeling of being lifted by a light hearted breeze – and a euphoria which suddenly filled my entire being.
I was being asked to go to BITS. I WAS BEING ASKED TO GO TO BITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just like that! I mean, how many times had I run through this idea with friends, and for some silly reason or the other we never made it. We didn’t even come close to planning it. And out of the blue I was being asked to go to Bits. Yes! Yes! Yes a hundred times over.
I know this trip will be different from what I always envisioned a ‘Return to BITS’ – which would have of course been in the company of my bestest friends – friends with whom I made most of my Bitsian moments and memories. Still – I want to go back to see if the place still holds the same magic through my twenty five years old eyes as it did then.
Of course, following this day I’ve had thousands of nightmares. What if my manager forgot the conversation? Worse what if he forgot I was from BITS. What if I had work and couldn’t make it? What if they chose not to go? Thousand of what if’s. And the fatalistic feeling that it was too good to be true and it wouldn’t happen. Last week, things however picked up some momentum and we are looking to finalize dates – but even then looks like it might clash with a friends wedding I absolutely cannot miss.
Keeping my fingers crossed, and praying hard!